I can’t tell you in any great detail the whys, but my business life continues to collapse around me. I have tried everything I can think of, and pissed some good money down the drain on marketing to try and bring my business back from the brink.
I love practicing, which is why I have been fighting so very hard to hang on, working and hoping that the business will recover. However, I’m just no longer sure I can make it happen. There is a point of diminishing returns and the stress has had me burying my head in the sand in regards to many issues. It is not a way I like to live my life, but the weight of the world can be more than burdensome, it can be down right crushing. More than crushing, it can be, and often has been, frightening.
I spent much of my youth as a quitter. No matter what I went out for or clubs/groups I joined, inevitably I would tire of it and simply give it up. It was a quality I spent much of my adult life trying to improve upon, however, sometimes we can go too far in the opposite direction.
One example, and perhaps the most detrimental of my decisions, happened when I ran for congress. I developed an illness and had a very serious post operative infection. I should have dropped out of the race, but I was determined not to quit. That decision, helped hasten the financial hole I was digging for myself —- but I did not, I would not, I could not quit.
Pride can be a double edged sword. Pride can encourage us to be the very best we can, but it can also allow us to make incorrect decisions based upon not only pride, but vanity as well. Perhaps, in addition to, if not great than, was the negative impact on my health. After literally fighting for my life, I allowed my health to fall apart. Because of the illness I was unable to eat anything other than ice cream for several months, and after the surgery, I couldn’t even eat that. My health deteriorated and I lost weight and muscle eventually dropping under 175 pounds. But once I was correctly diagnosed and treated, I was able to eat again, and boy did I. I went from gaunt and drawn to soft and round in a matter of months. The stress of trying to recover and run for office led me to eat and eat and eat and eat, and eventually to start drinking every night. My business was in shambles, my marriage was over and I weighed more than 300 pounds and was still climbing. In retrospect, that was a time I should have quit. I should have put my focus on recovering from septicemia and saving my business. But not only would I have quit, I would have quit in a very public manner. This wasn’t just a few of my family members and friends, this was an entire congressional district that would have seen that Joe Leonardi was a quitter.
Perhaps pride is the wrong word, I’m thinking stupid is a more apt descriptor.
Now, I am in similar circumstances. I battled back hard from this obesity relapse. I am fit, I am healthy and physically, I feel fantastic. Yes, it is great to have my health, but these same stressors that led to my obesity, and relapse, are still present, and even more intense. I have some serious decisions to make about my future. There are days I feel like quitting, not just business, not just my healthy lifestyle, but life itself. I feel like simply dropping out, going from just having my head in the sand, but the entirety of my being. I have to take my experiences and learn from them. Learn that there may be a time to re-evaluate and in fact it may be okay to quit, or perhaps more correctly, a time to start anew.
Being fit is what gets me through each day.
Waking up at 4:00am and starting my day pursuing physical fitness gives me something to look forward to each day.
Having my health gives me something to be thankful each and every day.
Is it time to leave behind practice and move into full time advocacy for fitness and wellness?
Is it time to leave behind the dank, dreary, darkness and hopelessness of Northeast PA?
I’m not sure what my future holds. I’m yet unsure of what decisions I will make.
I am 100% sure that through it all, I will never give in to the demonic duo of alcohol and food, nor will I ever quit my healthy, fit lifestyle.
Life is lived in color, but sometimes the answers remain black and white.
Aloha, Ciao and Stay Healthy,
Sometimes The Bastard Returns is available on Amazon.com Paperback: http://astore.amazon.com/fathfinobl-
Kindle: http://astore.amazon.com/fathfinobl-20/detail/B00HGVPCXG Obesity Undone, is available in both paperback and kindle versions at amazon.comhttp://www.amazon.com/Obesity-Undone-Beyond-Weight-Edition/dp/1477624333 For over three and half years I maintained a 130 pound weight loss, then last year I lost my way and found a relapse in obesity. I am discussing my battle with recidivism. **************The information, advice and opinions contained herein is for information purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat any disease or disorder. The posting and videos do not apply to those with an underlying medical or hormonal condition. I advise anyone embarking on a weight loss and fitness plan to have a thorough medical evaluation. You want to be sure that you are physically able to exercise and you don’t have any underlying medical conditions No guarantees are made or to be implied.*********** Obesity Undone, is available in both paperback and kindle versions at amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Obesity-Undone-Beyond-Weight-Edition/dp/1477624333 http://www.amazon.com/Obesity-Undone-Beyond-Weight-Edition-ebook/dp/B008R8KA1Q and on Create Space https://www.createspace.com/3903024************The information contained herein is for information purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat any disease or disorder. The posting and videos do not apply to those with an underlying medical or hormonal condition. I advise anyone embarking on a weight loss and fitness plan to have a thorough medical evaluation. You want to be sure that you are physically able to exercise and you don’t have any underlying medical conditions No guarantees are made or to be implied.************