Lately, life has been throwing me some heavy-duty, rib-breaking body blows. Compared to many I am blessed, but sometimes I don’t feel that way. The reality of owning a business in these current economic times can impact us all. I feel much like I did a few years ago. Similar situations caused apathy, which in turn, led to laziness. The result was my weight ballooned to a ponderous, pachydermian three hundred and forty pounds.
This morning when the alarm clock sounded, for the first time in a long time, I had the desire to shut the buzzer off and roll back over. Awakened by my current mood, my inner demons reared their ugly heads.
Thoughts of pancakes, home fries, doughnuts and waffles for breakfast started bubbling to the forefront of my brain. Later, I could go for a pizza and a nice pot of pasta. Then in the evening maybe a pie and a pint or two of ice cream. The comfort foods would work their soothing magic.
The demons screamed into my skull:
Why eat right?
What is the point?
Think of how nice it would be to sleep, on a full belly, an extra three hours each morning.
I knew that the combination of sloth and gluttony would once again isolate me from the outside world. The calming influences of empty calorie, carbohydrate loaded foods would help me sleep. The lack of exercise would convert the excess consumption into a protective layer of fat, thereby insulating me from the rest of the human race.
I looked up and studied the proverbial rope that is keeping me from plunging into Hell’s fires. The repair jobs from the previous occasions life almost took me down were once again frayed. The results of gremlins hacking away revealed they were now more than half way through.
Would the rope give all together? Would my life and future plummet into a great abyss? It may very well. When it desires, life can be a cold bastard. The big question is:
Will I embrace my inner demons thus hastening my demise?
I stayed in bed and wondered what it would be like to have had a charmed life. How different would it have been if my father hadn’t been forced on to disability by a life altering injury? How would it have been if my parents could have afforded to send me straight to college out of high school? Was my judgment to enter the Navy and alleviate the burden of at least one child to care for the correct decision?
Yes, the self-doubt and self-pity of despair were being cheered on by the demons. Much like talk radio hosts, my inner mischievous sprites were the harbingers of doom — joyfully fanning my flames of despair, discontent, doubt and disillusionment.
How easy would it be to embrace their self-destructive message!
How simple would it be to return back to my former indolence!
How effortless would it be to add a hefty burden to the rope!
As these thoughts ran through my head, a truck driver outside my window slammed on the brakes. As the tractor-trailer came to a very loud halt, its cargo violently shifted and I was jarred by a thunderous clang. My still sleeping brain interpreted the clamor into the clang of iron plates being dropped onto the gym floor.
Thoughts about clanging and banging iron sent a familiar shiver through my body. I jumped from my bed and the demons hid in terror. I would not give into their cursed cheering.
There is no time for self-pity.
There is no time for self-sorrow.
There is not time for self-destruction.
The rope is starting to show threads.
I am not sure how long it will hold out.
I will not increase its burden by adding weight to my frame.
As much as we tend to think otherwise, there is very little in our lives over which we have control.
Well run businesses fail everyday.
Bad, at times awful, things happen to good people.
Politicians pass laws regardless of the actual outcomes.
Hard working, loyal employees often find themselves without a job.
The one thing we can control is ourselves.
We can control our mental attitude.
We can control our fitness level.
We can control what we eat.
By being physically fit and strong, if that rope does give out, I will be powerful enough to reach up, grab the secure end and support myself.
Don’t quit on being fit!